Dear Freyja, ‘My Roommate is Sleeping with My Ex’

Dear Freyja,

A few weeks ago, I went away with my family for the weekend. When I came back, I noticed my boyfriend was acting weird. We’d only been dating for a month, so I thought that maybe my weekend away had distanced us a little, and hoped things would get better.

He kept acting weird though, so I started getting worried. Then, the other night, I came home from my class early and found him in bed with my roommate.

I’m not sure what to do. When I caught them, she basically told me that they’ve been together since that weekend, and claimed they’re “in love.”

I’m not sure what to do. I have to live with her until May, and I’m scared he’ll be over all the time and things will be awkward.

Please help!

-Betrayed by Boyfriend

Dear Betrayed by Boyfriend,

Wow. What a…well, you know. The first thing you should do is sit down with your roommate and talk about it. Chances are, you’ve been avoiding her. Stop.

Tell her exactly how you feel, and calmly ask her what on earth possessed her to think that what she did was okay. Ask her if she plans to have him over and if their relationship can be carried out elsewhere so that you don’t have to see it.

Then, talk to your ex as well. I know that sounds difficult, but facing your problems can be a huge relief. You can get out all of your feelings and you won’t feel as stressed around both of them if you see them.

If it turns out that your roommate has decided to continue being a…again, you know, then you might need to consider finding new lodging. If you live in the dorms, talk to your RD about changing rooms. Explain the situation.

Usually, as long as there’s somewhere to move you to and a genuine need to move, they’re happy to accommodate.

If you live in an apartment, you might just have to make it work the best you can. Spend as much time as you can with friends and use your apartment as a storage facility and hotel room. If your friends are good friends, they should take up your cause and help you with your sticky situation.